Bowhunting skills, computer-hacking skills, COMMUNICATION skills. Communities need people with great SKILLS.

   Hello all!  I am at home sick today, but feeling better after my morning cup of coffee.   Sorry for the terrible Napoleon Dynamite quote... couldn't help myself.  I had a conversation the other day that inspired me to write a little bit more about the curriculum of Formation House that we have worked on so far.

    The purpose of the Formation House year (or maybe ONE of the purposes) is to create leaders that can start intentional communities of their own and gain tools to aid communities in which they find themselves ( i.e. churches, neighborhoods, schools, jobs, etc.).  The year is divided into three sections with an intentional focus in each-

   1. Communication and listening skills.

   2. Leadership.

   3. Visiting other communities, Preparing for the next step.

     We are just now beginning the second period on Leadership, but I wanted to share some reflections on our time on Communication.

     In our time in Pittsburgh so far, we have met a good number of people that are interested or have lived in intentional communities before.  Some are excited about it but some share stories about how living in community was hard or hurtful.  I think a wider number of people could relate to this if they have ever been apart of a church or group of friends that has split over struggles with group dynamics.   Just given human nature, community can be messy.  When you share space and life with people, it is easy to come to places of conflict.  All this is the backdrop for our first section of study.  To create a community of any kind, there must be room for communication and healthy ways to go about it.  Considering we did not know each other when we all moved here, we have spent a good deal of time getting to know each other and learning to communicate well!  We have had the routine of meeting on Monday nights (or whenever we can) to discuss the following material:

    We first focused on the book The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work by John Gottman.  While this year's group is all married, Formation House has a vision for married and single people studying this book.  The book is written to married couples but can apply to a wide variety of relationships.   For example, one principle is "Create shared meaning."  For a community to continue to function, there must be a shared purpose and meaning between it's members as they look at their goals in the present and future.  This book was very informative- I gave it to my brother and sister-in-law who just got married.

   We then discussed Marshal Rosenberg's Non-violent Communication, and talked about ways to listen and share needs in a way that invites other's to respond in a compassionate way.  The podcasts are very informative, and he shares many experiences where this style of communication has created deeper connection and even kept people out of harm.

   The last study we did was of Collaborative Communication.  This study gave some ways to map out conflicts or important issues in a way that leads to a collaborative resolution.  The awareness wheel was especially helpful.  It is a mat you can set out on the floor and talk through an issue as you stand on different parts of the mat (Communication Twister!).  We have used it in our discussions of chores and how to keep things clean.  Not the easiest subject, but the wheel allows everyone to voice their needs and share in the conversation.  It has lead us to some great routines with the use of our space!

   I have tried to keep this short but the truth is I could talk at length about each of these resources.  It has been great to study these as a group, and I look forward to our next unit on Leadership!  I also feel the need to let everyone know that Formation House is accepting applications for next year.  They will be doing the same curriculum with a group from August 2011 to August 2012.  It has been incredibly meaningful for us, and I my hope is that the 2011 group will learn as much as we have been.  So! There's the plug!